By Teresa McIntosh-Hall
11/6/2021
I try not to think about death too much, but when I do it leaves me with the realization that life is incredibly fragile and fleeting. I thought about death this morning because a really good person in our extended family passed away. Her name is Laurie. She was beautiful, loving and incredibly generous. Her life made a big difference in the lives of others. She lived a better life than most because she was a GIVER with a bigger than life spirit. Her generosity towards others knew no bounds. From what I was told, she wasn’t a particularly private person UNTIL she knew she might be dying. Because in her deep wisdom she knew that the days she had left needed to mean something and she needed to be with those she truly loved the most.
The irony about life is the only thing that makes it worth living is in fact death.
Without death…life has no real meaning.
If we were to live forever (in human form, not spirit form) we would surely take for granted the things that give our life purpose to begin with.
We walk past those we love on a daily basis and we rarely think…” today could be our last day together.” We live in a constant state of denial about the fragility of our life and the lives of those we love. In our youthful ignorance we do indeed live our life as if tomorrow is promised. But it isn’t. Perhaps God made us this way because if we think too deeply about death it would scare us. Denial keeps us unaware and comfortable. Death feels uncertain and uncertainty brings fear.
Death brings us closer to the realization that the people we love will someday leave us. Either by death or by choice. No one stays forever. We are here for just a moment in time. Someone once asked me, “how do you know WHO you REALLY love?” I think the answer to that question is pretty easy. I will answer that question with a question…If you have only 7 days to live who do you want next to you in your final week and at your final hour? Whoever that person is….that is who you love the most in life. Those are the people you should hold tightly to, speak gently to, forgive, comfort and cherish. Those are your people. They won’t be here forever.
There are 7.7 billion people on this planet and all 7.7 billion of us must eventually do the one thing we’ve never done before…die. We all have different opinions regarding what happens after we die. Some will see Jesus. Others will see Allah. Some will see a bright light and the relatives who passed before them. Some will see their dog or cat. Some will be born again to a new family into the arms of a new mother. Some will see the face of God. Some will see nothing and feel nothing.
The diehard skeptics want proof of the afterlife but there is no proof to offer. There are no promises that can be made, yet stories from the prophets who lived thousands of years ago tell us to not be afraid and we cling to those stories in our time of need. Even the unbelievers WANT to believe in the afterlife because the idea that we are simply stardust is a heavy burden to carry in the human heart.
So what do I believe? I am just 1 of 7.7 billion but I am NOT a skeptic. I am a believer. I believe we ARE in fact stardust but God breathed life into us.
I am Christian by faith but my heart tells me that I would be arrogant and ignorant to believe that only my faith and religion is accurate in interpreting where our souls go after we die. To not consider that we could be wrong or misled is not faith; that is brainwashing. Faith is not knowing and even some uncertainty at times but still believing as best as we can. Faith is what truly sustains us during tough times…the belief that there is a purpose, a meaning, a plan for our life and a purpose in our death. Faith is the single most powerful emotion that can help us overcome fear, sadness, loss and heartache.
Over 2000 thousand years ago a man named Paul (or so we believe but we are not certain) sat down and put his thoughts onto paper or scribe or stone. He wrote a beautiful sentence…”Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1.
Hebrews 11:1 is traditionally spoken at millions of weddings and millions of funerals. But why? Maybe because our wise ancestors knew we would need FAITH to endure the tough times ahead… because life will give us plenty of tough times if you live long enough. Our ancestors also knew we would need FAITH when our lives are ending in order to accept our death and the death of those we love.
I kind of view faith like a teaspoon of medicine from our mother when we are children. Our mother pours the pink, cherry medicine into a spoon and she says “drink this and you will feel better.” We have faith she is right and we gulp it down.
The world craves a medicine that will heal our hurt, our doubts and our skepticism. We look to religious scholars, priests and pastors to give us assurances that are similar to the assurances we received from our mom…drink this and feel better. We look to the words of our ancestors who lived thousands of years before us. We read their words in our darkest hours and in our time of need. We go backwards 2000 years searching for messages and signs about what might be the truth or what might come to pass.
So what is the truth? Why are we here? Do we live forever but in another dimension?
You have to look for the signs.
I see so many signs. Signs that tell me God designed the flower and the bee to give us the sweet taste of honey. Signs that tell me God gave us dirt and the seed to give us the shade of an Oak tree. Signs that tell me God gave us the flame and the log to give us warmth on this fall evening in Ohio. I see so many signs. I’ve seen them since I was just a child and I thank my mom for this. For the ability to see the beauty and signs in the world around me and be amazed with wonder. We live in a well-designed world but still an imperfect world. Yet it’s difficult to explain why God lets children starve or die. Why God lets young men go to war and never come home. It is indeed imperfect and unexplainable. Why did God take Laurie at such a young age? Is this randomness or a plan we cannot understand?
I choose to look for the signs. Signs that tell us God is still in charge even if we don’t understand the plan. This morning I was in line buying groceries. I saw a sign but it wasn’t as clear as the flowers and the bees. But it was still a sign. A young mom was in front of me with her two children when Laurie popped into my mind. In my own thoughts I was recalling how incredibly generous she was. She once drove 30 miles to my house to drop off a can of apple butter and she randomly decorated my porch for Halloween. Apparently, this is just what Laurie does. She loves people. She surprises people. She showers them with love for no other reason than because she can. She gives generously and randomly to her family and friends. She is the glue that holds all the working parts of her family together. So as I was watching this young mother….I was also thinking of Laurie and this feeling came over me… I will just call this feeling FAITH because I don’t know how else to describe it. It came bubbling up from my soul. It was a tickle at first. An itch. A whisper.
A little voice in my head called Faith whispered “buy her groceries.”
The skeptic in me fought back…”heck no! She has at least $300.00 worth in that cart. I am not rich”
But the tickle of faith pushed upward again…”buy her groceries.”
“Why?” I asked this whisper.
And faith replied “do it for Laurie.”
“Can I go half way because $300.00 is a lot of money.” I fought back.
But this tickle of Faith was persistent “give generously. Do it for Laurie.”
I pushed back one more time and Faith and I made a deal and settled on 50/50.
Before the mother could pay for her groceries I ran my credit card into the machine and stated “I’ll buy half.” The young mother looked at me in confusion and I said “that’s from Laurie.”
Laurie would have loved the mental exchange I had in my head as I argued with FAITH because Laurie was a free spirit and sometimes a little wacky just like me. She would have understood. I am certain she would approve.
I will not be sending flowers to Laurie’s funeral. A can of apple butter maybe but no flowers. This story is my bouquet of flowers to her.
Laurie’s death both tested and restored my faith. Her death reminded me that we don’t have as long as we think we do. But my faith allowed me to see the signs…right in front of me…in Walmart of all places. I was given the opportunity to give some of that faith to someone else because Laurie’s generous spirit came bubbling up into my thoughts at just the right time. Even in death Laurie was impacting a stranger with love. More proof that the souls of those we love live on.
I am not a skeptic. I am a believer. I believe we ARE stardust but we are also souls that God has breathed life into. The mysteries of this world are far more complex than science can ever explain. Astronomers tell us there are approximately 10,000 stars for each grain of sand on the earth. That comes to 200 billion trillion stars. Math isn’t my forte but that seems like a lot of stars. There are only 7.7 billion souls on planet earth right now. Seems like the universe has plenty of room to house the souls of our loved ones who go before us.
Do you want to hear MY very unscientific theory about life after death? No? Sorry I am going to tell you anyways…
We are stardust.
The stars you see in the sky…those are the beautiful, living souls of our ancestors that have escaped the bounds of earth. How do I know? I don’t of course, but FAITH bubbles up inside me in the most unexpected and beautiful ways. Even in Walmart.
”Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1.
God speed Laurie.
By Teresa McIntosh-Hall
11/6/2021