Eleven is a tough age for girls! Don’t rush your daughter to grow up. Slow down. Breathe. Let kids be kids.Your daughter is holding childhood in her left hand while reaching for adolescence with her right. Read the true story below by Teresa McIntosh-Hall which is a true story about letting go, holding on and growing up….when the time is right.
When my daughter was seven years old, she picked out a stuffed monkey at the local mall as a birthday present. She named her new monkey “Alan.” It was a simple name but Alan was no simple monkey. He came with a gold sealed birth certificate and a big cardboard box to carry him home in. Haley helped to “birth” Alan by stuffing him and making a wish after kissing a little red heart that she placed inside of him. Once he was all sewed up she picked out a cute little outfit for him and took him home to live forever more.
From about the age of seven to ten Alan had a special place in Haley’s room. He sat up high, in a corner, as if he were keeping watch over the other lesser stuffed animals in her room. On occasion she would change his outfit, talk to him (when she thought no one was listening) and then she would put him back in his corner with a gentle pat to his head as if to say “we will play again soon.”
But something happened between the age of ten to eleven and Haley became more interested in painting her nails instead of changing Alan’s outfits. And she talked less and less to Alan and more and more to her friends on the phone. Pretty soon Alan found himself on the floor of her bedroom, with his bare bottom exposed and his tail missing. It became a running joke in our family that Alan had been violated by the family dog, Chief, who was madly in love with him. Pretty soon Alan was missing both of his arms and his tail. He was pathetic looking really, with no arms, no tail, no outfits and three holes in him from where Chief pulled out his internal stuffing. Chief dragged Alan around the house for nearly a year and Haley never blinked an eye about it. After all, she was too busy painting and primping and talking and just doing what girls do at age eleven. She was over Alan. Or so I thought.
One uneventful evening it was business as usual and Chief was dragging Alan around the house – shaking him, growling and expelling as much stuffing as he could. I said to Haley “will you please take that monkey from Chief and clean up that awful mess.” In frustration she yelled at Chief, took the monkey from him, picked up the extra stuffing from the floor and placed it in the trash. Alan was now just a shell of a monkey and he looked quite pitiful. At that point, Haley went to lay Alan down when out tumbled his little red heart. The same little red heart she placed inside of him over four years ago. She picked it up and rubbed it slowly between her fingers and stared at the monkey for what seemed like eternity. “I forgot all about his heart” she whispered. At that moment, Alan seemed real to her. And I admit, when I saw her reaction to finding his heart, Alan was real to me too. Haley turned to me, with tears in her eyes, and said “can we fix him again and put his heart back in?” “Of course,”, I replied. So we spent the evening sewing up the three jagged holes in Alan so the little red heart could remain inside of him. That evening as I went into Haley’s bedroom to tuck her in, I couldn’t help but notice Alan’s head sticking out from under Haley’s covers. He still had his cute little monkey smile and he was safe again, tucked in right next to the little girl who had brought him to life to begin with.
Eleven – the age when you are holding childhood in your left hand while reaching for adolescence with your right. Perhaps in Haley’s mind she wants Alan to be real for just a little while longer. Or perhaps she learned a beautiful lesson about the consequences of not taking care of those you love. Haley gets a second chance with Alan. A chance to put him back in his special corner, safe and high above the other stuffed animals, where he rightfully belongs. But tonight, he sleeps soundly in her arms. Sweet dreams Alan.
@copyright By Teresa McIntosh-Hall
Teresa McIntosh-Hall is a writer, blogger, social worker and political activist who hopes you get tucked in with a hug and a kiss tonight.
Resources to Help Kids Feel Safe and Secure at Bedtime:
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares